The Magical Adventures of Wesker, Chelsea, and Jen
by LittleCrimsonRidingHood
Summary: This, in no way, is related to Emily the Witch, Jen the Hunter. Wesker runs over a teacher and has to teach at junior high, where he meets Jen and Chelsea, two girls who might be insane. There is some swearing. Dont read if you dont like.
1. Chapter 1

When Jen and Chelsea walked into Science classroom at St. Marguerite Catholic School in Spruce Grove, Alberta, Canada, they were suprised to see a man wearing all black, pale skin, greased back short blond hair, and sunglasses. They looked at each other and laughed. They weren't sure, but that man seemed to be cosplaying from a game called Resident Evil as the 'big super evil villan', Albert Wesker.

It was quite amusing actually, to see a full grown man cosplaying. And they finished the video game serise on the Wii last night. When the final bell rung and signaled the begging of class, the man stood and walked, or more like sauntered, or maybe glided, to the front of the class room and spoke. His voice was like the Albert Wesker from the game. "Hello class, my name is - " Jen cut him off when she raised her hand. "Yes," he read the attendance list, "Mrs. Jones?"

"Is your name Albert Wesker, by any chance?"

"Yes."

"That's funny. That's the exact name of the evil man from a video game called Resident Evil. You have stolen his style, and changed your name. But you are not Albert Wesker. He's fictional." The man ripped off his sunglasses and slammed his hands onto the speckled table, cat pupil's and crimson eyes flashing. Jen shrugged.

"So you went as far as buying contacts. Big whoop." The man growled, picked up the table, and threw it across the room. Jen raised an eyebrow. "So you worked out." The man growled. He ran around the room in a blur, picked up an exato knife - from the red cart that held supplies when they were making cells and was never put away - and stabbed himself in the throat, drew it across his neck and dropped it. The wound instantly healed.

Jen smiled, then nudged Chelsea. She whispered something to the red-headed girl sitting beside her, quietly so that Wesker couldn't hear their very much one sided conversation. Which would be very hard because of his super hearing. Chelsea smirked, rose, and skipped over to Wesker. She motioned for him to bend down, then a little more, then a little more. He did so, and when he was at the right level, Chelsea yanked his head to one side and sunk her teeth into the flesh, then skipped back to the table. Jen smiled. "You have just recived a very dangerous, and a highly contagious disease called C.I.D."

"Never heard of it."

"It stands for Chelsea's Insanity Disease. Nothing big had happened for it to get out in the news yet, but one bite from her or an infected, you get C.I.D., two bites, it's gone, three bites, you die." Jen's smile grew wider. "Chelsea, bite him again." Chelsea did so.

Wesker straightened his leather jacket and walked back to the front of the classroom. "As you must have all figured out by now, I am your subsitute teacher for the rest of the year."

"Why?"

"Community Service. I ran over your teacher with a car. He's currently healing in the hospital."

"Why?"

"Because I felt like it."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

Wh-"

"If you say 'why' one more fucking time, I will chuck you across a room."

"Douche."

"That's better."

"Mr. Douche? What are we learning today in class?"

"It's Wesker. I have no idea."

"Theeeen, can we feed rice to seagulls? I wanna see if they explode or not." Jen shrugged. "Mr. C would never let us do that."

"That sounds like fun."

The bell rang signalling the end of the day, and Wesker was sitting at his desk, feet crossed and resting on the smooth surface. A binder was balanced on his legs, a cup of steaming coffee in his hands, and his ever present sunglasses perched on his nose. He was completely relaxed and thinking. Thinking about the second block of that day. Science. Technically, he teaches science every block, but second block had to be the most interesting thing that happened that day. Unfourtantly, they didn't find seagulls to feed rice too, but that led to much more interesting events.

The two girls he had quickly learned were Chelsea Hanna and Jennifer Jones, who perfered to be called Jen, and if someone called her Jenny, they'd get a knuckle sandwich. Chelsea was originally born in Texas, and her parents had recently moved back there, although Chelsea stayed behind for the education and the fact that she grew up with most of them and didn't want to leave, which supplied Jen to ask her parent's to let Chelsea move in with them. They agreed, and gave Chelsea Jen's older sister, Sarah, old room. Sarah was in college.

And he learnt the hard way not to threaten one of Jen's friends. She can deliver quite a beating, as he had witnessed to a man who tried to rob her friend Emily. Who would have thought a girl turning fourteen could send a man into intensive care.

Suprisingly, Jen was alot smarter in weponry then one would think. She knew how to make a chuckable flame thrower using elastic bands, a febreez bottle, and a lighter.

Wesker was actually quite excited and looking towards tommorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

When Wesker walked into the science on Tuesday morning, he saw something that made him drop his cup of coffee.

Chelsea was digging a hole, while Jen was reading a book.

Wesker felt a wetness seep between his shoes. He looked down and noticed his pink ceramic mug with red printing of '_Worlds Best Mom_', had cracked on the tiles of the floor, and his precious coffee that kept him happy in the morning was spilled all over the floor. He growled at the sight, then left the room.

Chelsea however, found an adrenilan shot, and stabbed it into her arm before Jen could stop her. Chelsea's digging had increased ten times. Jen shrugged. Chelsea was trying to dig a hole to China, and Jen had tried to warn her about the magma, but Chelsea didn't listen. Jen shrugged again and went back to reading, skipping first block, yet somehow still wasn't absent.

When second block came around, Chelsea's hole was complete.

Students filed in slowly, and Wesker glared at Chelsea, Jen was taking a nap on his desk. "Hello class," he growled, "since I have not had my morning coffee yet, due to some distractions," glared at Chelsea once more, " you have ten seconds to pull out your homework, it better be complete, and if it isn't, you all have to run laps."

"What's so terrible about running laps?" A boy named Aiden asked.

"The laps would be around the school, you can't walk, and it would be somewheres around a hundred."

"Well I didn't do my homework. And you can't make me." Chelsea skipped up to Aiden, put a hand on his forehead and the back of his head, and gave it a sharp jerk. Aiden's lifeless body slumped onto the table. Wesker shrugged, and started mixing something together.

Jen awoke and noticed Aiden's dead body. Then she smelt explosive chemicals and heard them being mixed together. An explosion echoed through the class room, causing the class to take cover in Chelsea's hole. Wesker managed to throw a rope down for the class to grab onto before they hit the magma. Chelsea was at the bottom, Jen one above her. Chelsea swung upside down, hair hitting the magma. "Look, Jen! I'm Spider-Man!"

"Chelsea! Hold the rope with your hands!" Chelsea swung back up, and Jen patted down her hair, putting out the flame.

Wesker jumped down after tieing the rope to a table. He threw up Chelsea, and Jen climbed up. Chelsea started to knaw on the rope. "Chelsea! Stop! Don't eat the rope!" The rope snapped and Jen caught the edge of the hole. With unpossesable man strength she pulled herself up, and tied the rope around her waist. She then put Chelsea in a straight jacket and tied her up with chains in a corner.

Jen pulled up her classmates.

Wesker glanced around the classroom before looking back at Jen. "Where's Chelsea?" Jen ponted into the corner she tied Chelsea up in. "Right over ther-" She looked into the corner. Chains strewn all over the floor, and straight jacket torn up. Jen shrugged. "Ah, well, she'll show up later. Always does. See ya Wesker."


	3. Chapter 3

"Okay class, I'll be teaching gym today." Wesker's gaze ran over the familiar faces of his student's, and landed on a petit girl with strawberry blonde hair and light blue eyes who had her hand raised. "Yes Milne?"

"What about Mr. Syrnik? He's here. I saw him before I entered the gym." Wesker blurred out of the gym and came back two minutes later, using a black hankerchief to wipe the blood of the student's former gym teacher off of his hands. "Change of plan's. I am your new gym teacher. Like it or die."

"Wesker, did you forget your Midol*?"

"Jen, go burn in hell. Or dig a hole to China or something."

"Wesker, restraining order against Hell. And Chelsea already established we can not dig a hole to China. Magma is in the way."

"Indeed she did. And someone stole the coffee machine so I didn't have no coffee this morning." Wesker's eyes narrowed when he saw Chelsea and Jen high five. "We will be playing dodge ball today, and for the rest of the year."

"Why dodge ball?"

"It's the only game that can prepare you for war."

"Why would we be going to war?"

"I have wonderful plans for you, my children. I'm going to make you into wonderful little killers that would have no remorse!" Wesker continued with his rant which quickly moved onto world domination. The students shrugged and went to streatching and making the teams. Soon the game had started.

Wesker was still rambling on.

By the time class had ended, Wesker was still rambling. Chelsea patted Wesker on the shoulder. "See you in science Weskie dear." She skipped off, leaving behind a very confused Wesker on where time had gone.


	4. Chapter 4

When Wesker's science class was settled, a weird looking guy with really nice eyelashes entered. Wesker was sitting at the desk, watching the confused faces of his student's, then paled when Chelsea and Jen stood.

Wesker stood quickly and walked to the front of the classroom. "Chelsea, Jen, sit. Class, I have gotten an assistant. Why? BECAUSE YOUR ALL DRIVING ME INSANE! This is Irving. He's here to help me take care of you monsters. Any objections?" Jen raised her hand.

"Of course. Yes Jen?"

"Can we go to Africa?"

"Yes, we can. We shall leave right now!"

"How?"

"I have a private jet. Chelsea, don't stick that in your arm!" The needle rolled to the ground, Irving giggling like the little boy he is. Jen sighed. Chelsea alone was dangerous, but with the T-virus, she could cause some serious damage.

Jen snapped her fingers and Irving reacted as if he had been hit. She clapped, and the desk caught fire. Jen sneered at Irving and stood. "You asshole. You gave Chelsea the needle. You told her to stick it in her arm. Did you know she could use magic? Like I? I'm going to murder you! And I don't even have to use my hands! No prints! I won't get caught!" Irving paled.

Wesker patted Jen on her shoulder, effectivly seating her aswell. Jen crossed her arm's and pouted. Wesker clapped his hands, gaining the attention of the class. "Let's board the jet. Don't forget your lunch. And remember this is considered kidnapping. Text your parents and tell them I'm bringing you to Africa. I don't want to be charged for kidnapping."

"Sir yes sir!" The class did as told too, then grabbed their things and boarded the jet.

It was a long and painful flight to Africa for Wesker. He learnt that all of his students could use magic and that Jen need's her sleep or else she goes on a phsyco rampage. Then the plane crashed.

As they were about to hit the volcano that Wesker end's up dieing from in Resident Evil 5, but before they did, Jen snapped her fingers and everything rewinded. They landed in Africa and Wesker started a school. That's pretty much how everything went down...


	5. Chapter 5

Ah, school. The Hell of most children. Well, that is, unless Wesker is teaching you. The children he was teaching had the joy of looking forward to something new everyday.

Then they went to Africa. Then the true trouble started.

Jen and Chelsea went missing. Apparently, before the plane crashed into the volcano, and Jen stopped it, the pilot died. A quick crash landing and the children crawling out of the rubish of the distroyed plane left many of the children dead. Out of a class of twenty three students only ten student's survived. They found the bodies of the rest of the student's but Wesker's two favourite student's are missing.

The day's went by in a slow pattern, and they seemed to blur into one another. The day's turned to gray and the student's did nothing but mope.

Then, when it seemed like all hope was lost, on a stormy night, with the rain pouring down, there came a small, barely audible, tap on the door of the school that Wesker built in a day. They weren't positive, until it came again. And once more, sounding more and more urgent. Wesker ran over and swung open the door.

On the other side in the rain was Chelsea, supporting her best friend and "master", Jen. Jen looked weak, then Wesker saw why. A large steel pole was lodged in her stomach, blood running down it's length. Chelsea's normal self, if you can call it normal, was gone, and if Wesker looked closely, he could see the tears running down her face. As for Jen, Wesker was suprised that she was still alive.

Wesker ushered the girl's in quickly, then layed Jen down. He didn't know what else to do, so he inserted a needle into Jen's arm. The T-virus took, but it was too late. Jen passed onto the next world.

And Chelsea refused to burry Jen, or alow her to be cremated. When Wesker questioned why, Chelsea simply said: "Why bother? She's like a cat. She'll be back tommorrow."


	6. Chapter 6

Wesker burried Jen anyways. Like hell was he going to listen to Chelsea. He didn't believe that someone other then him, and now, unfortunately, Chelsea. He was, however, suprised to see Jen digging herself out of the hole, with the giant pole still lodged inside her stomach. Jen grabbed the pole, ripped it out, then brushed the dirt off.

She then glared at Wesker and demanded pancakes. He sighed and went to go make them.

After pancakes, Jen and Chelsea found badminton rackets. Wesker decided that they would need supervision. He was right.

"So Jen," Wesker sipped some coffee, " where'd the pole come from anyway's?"

"I pissed off some people."

"Ah. By the way, you have the T-virus in you. Gave it to you yesterday." Instantly, Jen's anger flared to life. "You did _what_!"

"Sorry, you were dying! I didn't know what to do!"

Before Jen could respond, a sharp bark crossed the distance. "Wesker!" Wesker turned.  
"Chris!"

"Wesker!"

"Chris!"

"Wesker!"

"Chris!"

"Wesker!"

"Chris!"

"Wesker!"

"Chris!"

"Wesker!"

"Chris!"

"Wesker!"

"Chris!"

"Wesker!"

"CHELSEA!"

Jen rubbed her temples. "Hi Chris. Wesker, go take anti-bitchy pills. Chelsea, we all know who you are, so go have a cookie. God-damnit, at times I feel like a god-damn parent." Jen closed her eyes and ran her hand over her face. Wesker grumbled something and stareted rambling about world domination to Chris. Then he left, leaving Chris to fight Chelsea and Jen.


	7. Chapter 7

Punching and kicking and spitting and biting. That's how the fight went. Then Chelsea bit Chris. "Gaaahhh!" Chris clutched his arm where Chelsea had bit, the wound gaining a infected look horrorifingly fast. "KHRIS!"

"SHEVA!"

"KHRIS!

"SHEVA!"

"KHRIS!"

"SHEVA!"

"KHRIS!"

"SHEVA!" Jen looked at the two, face palmed and turned to Chelsea, and whispered,

"Didn't we already go through with this with Wesker and Chris?"

"KHRIS!"

"SHEVA!"

"KHRIS!"

"SHEVA!"

"CHELSEA!"

"Ah, what the hell, JEN!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Jen, why are we fighting them?"

"Because Wesker told us to, but now that I think about it, since when do we _ever_ listen to _Wesker_?"

"Good point." Chris scratched the back of his head.

"Uh, you guy's hungry or something?"

"Let's have some tea."

And so they had tea.


	8. Chapter 8

"Indeed."

"Hm."

"Hm."

"Hm."

"Indubitably…"

Chris, Chelsea, Sheva, and Jen were drinking tea and some how received British accent's. They were talking nonsense and unable to understand each other.

"More tea, Chris?"

"Thank you, Jen."

"Your welcome, Chris."

…

"Chicken."

"Damnit Chelsea! You broke the British combo!"

"Sorry Jen."

"Well, I'm bored, you guy's wanna go on a Safari?"

"Sure."


	9. Chapter 9

They all piled into the jeep. Chris started the engine and turned up the radio. Jen and Chelsea sat at the back.

"We are going on a safari,

See the lions from a Ferrari,

Hope we do not get the Malari,

It's safari time!"

"Yeah!"

"We are going on a safari  
See the lions from my Ferrari  
Hope we do not get the malari  
It's safari time!"

"We are going on a safari  
See the lions from my Ferrari  
Hope we do not get the malari  
It's safari time"

"We are going on a safari  
See the lions from my Ferrari  
Hope we do not get the malari  
It's safari time"

"Many nice surprises  
Are waiting in the jungle  
Girlie oh Girlie  
We're going on safari  
I'll show you the goatees  
The chickens and the monkeys  
So if you don't wanna come  
I will go there any way"

"We are going on a safari  
See the lions from my Ferrari  
Hope we do not get the malari  
It's safari time"

"We are going on a safari  
See the lions from my Ferrari  
Hope we do not get the malari  
It's safari time"

"Holiday, We wanna have a goodie  
Holiday, It's safari time  
Holiday, We wanna have a goodie  
Holiday, It's safari time"

"Visiting my uncle  
Playing with his parrot  
The birdies the birdies  
We see them on a safari  
I'll show you the goatees  
The chickens and the monkeys  
So if you don't wanna come  
I will go anyway"

"We are going on a safari  
See the lions from my Ferrari  
Hope we do not get the malari  
It's safari time"

"We are going on a safari  
See the lions from my Ferrari  
Hope we do not get the malari  
It's safari time"

"Holiday, We wanna have a goodie  
Holiday, It's safari time  
Holiday, We wanna have a goodie  
Holiday, It's safari time"

"We are going on a safari  
It's safari time  
Hope we do not get the malari  
Oooh yah"

"We are going on a safari  
It's safari time  
Hope we do not get the malari  
It's safari time"

"We are going on a safari  
See the lions from my Ferrari  
Hope we do not get the malari  
It's safari time"

"We are going on a safari  
See the lions from my Ferrari  
Hope we do not get the malari  
It's safari time"

"It's safari time"

"We are going on a safari  
See the lions from my Ferrari  
Hope we do not get the malari  
It's safari time"

"We are going on a safari  
See the lions from my Ferrari  
Hope we do not get the malari  
It's safari time!"

"Yeah!"

Chris rubbed the back of his head. "What just happened?"

"We just sung "_We Are Going on a Safari_" by . Except, Chelsea added the 'Yeah' part. It's pretty darn fun. And suitable if you think about it. We are on a safari."

…

"Yeah… hey look, a volcano." Chris was very easy to distract, apparently.


	10. Chapter 10

But, unfourtantly, since Chris was easy to distract, he was also found it very easy to find Wesker. "Wesker!"

"Chris!"

"Wesker!"

"Chris!"

"Wesker!"

"Chris!"

"Wesker!"

"Chris!"

"Wesker!"

"Chris!"

"Wesker!"

"Chris!"

"Wesker!"

"Chris!"

"Wesker!"

"Chris!"

"Wesker!"

"Chris!"

"Wesker!"

"Chris!"

"Wesker!"

"Chris!"

"Wesker!"

"Chris!"

"Wesker!"

"Chris!"

"Wesker!"

"Chris!"

"Wesker!"

"Chris!"

"CHELSEA! DON'T EAT THE CAR DOOR!"

"But I like the car door..." Jen face palmed, then jumped out. When her feet hit the ground, the volcano started to rumble. Out of the volcano came a man driving a car. Jen smiled.

"Chelsea! Look! It's Lava!" A helicopter flew over the volcano and Emily popped out. Emily was in Japan the whole time. All the other survivors from the plane crash were with Emily.

Lava was approching quickly. "GET TO THE CHOPER!" They all ran into the helicopter. It took off, leaving Wesker behind. "Chelsea, have some fourtune cookies."

"YAY!" Chelsea took all the fourtune cookies and smushed them into one. she then tried to swallow the giant fourtune cookie. Jen stopped her, and she threw the fourtune cookie over her shoulder that was covered in C.I.D. venom.

The giant fourtune cookie whapped Wesker in the head, and the C.I.D. venom ate away at his skin. Then Lava ran him over.

That, was the true way Wesker died.

A young man approched them. He had hate in his eyes. "Hello, my name is Sergej. I am going to teach you how to become the ultimate weapons."

_**THE END?**_


End file.
